I’m not new to volunteering — I’ve done it throughout my life.  An experience that I regularly think of is my time as a Big Sister with the Big Brother/Big Sister organization in Boston.   The need was far greater to have mentors for boys, so I was a big sister to a 7-year-old boy named Frankie from South Boston.  He lived with his sister and parents in a small one bedroom apartment in the projects of Southie. I spent the day with him once a week. Despite my efforts to help him learn and expand his horizon with cultural/history-related trips/activities, all he ever wanted to do is to go to the arcade in Dorchester and play video games. Dah, Kristin???  This is what most little boys want to do.  I didn’t know…  Anyway, the sad thing is I lost touch with Frankie when I moved to DC.  Hmmm, I wonder what happened to him?

So, fast forward to the present in LA.  I started researching non-profits shortly after I got here. Shame on me for just now acting on it.  Albeit a little late in the game, I finally found a great organization to support – the Concern Foundation.  Founded in the late 60’s, it’s dedicated to raising and granting funds to support cancer research worldwide.  Concern Foundation is a rarity in the non-profit world as it maintains an administration overhead of 5 per cent or less, which means about 95 cents of very dollar goes directly toward research. This is made possible by remaining primarily volunteer driven.  Concern has provided grants to more than 650 gifted cancer researchers at major institutions locally, nationally and around the world; more than $45M has been raised and granted.

An important part of the org’s efforts are with kids.  On December 11, I volunteered at the annual Holiday Party, which took place on the grounds of Paramount Studios.   Concern invited children from Children’s Hospital Los Angeles, City of Hope National Medical Center, UCLA Medical Center, Kaiser Permanente Sunset, and Camp Ronald McDonald.  More than 150 kids showed up.  This event is not just for the children – it’s for their families too.  There were approximately 600 guests that day.

When I arrived at Paramount, the organizers and volunteers were mingling.   I didn’t know anyone so my first line of business was to introduce myself to the event coordinator.  She informed me to sit tight until the guests arrived.   I made use of time by meeting as many volunteers as possible.  I learned quickly that this is a multi-generational organization – generations of families were working side by side.  I’m told that Concern is being now run by the second and third generations but that the majority of the original 15 founding couples are still actively involved.   This is very much a family affair.  As an outsider coming into this close-knit community, everyone was very welcoming and friendly to me.

When the children and families arrived, we escorted them into the theatre.  As they watched a movie, the volunteers set up – unloading trucks, setting up the tents and different stations.  As guests exited the theatre, everyone received a bag of candy.   For the next four hours, guests moved around to different tents –cookie decorating, arts-n-crafts, beauty/make-over (for moms), Santa Claus and gifts (each family received a large garbage bag of toys), food, and dancing.   My job was to interact with the kids and do what it takes to get them to have fun. I bounced around to different areas, but I spent most of my time in one particular area. For those who know me, I am sure you can guess where.  The dance floor!   The DJ, Dwayne Brown of D’City Sound & Event Production, was amazing.  He’s fabulous with children and has a knack of getting everyone involved, even those who wanted to remain on the sidelines.  Eventually, they got up there.   By the end of the day, the dance floor was packed with kids.

As for me, I had a blast with the kids.  There were some kids that gravitated to me…my moves on the dance floor must have impressed them.  LOL. Then, there were a few whom I scared and sent running to their parents.  They did NOT want to dance.  Everyone was having fun.  I didn’t see anyone who was not smiling.  A job well done, Concern Foundation!

This was such a special day for me – one that I will never forget.  I got so much enjoyment watching these kids just be kids.  It was equally moving when parents would come up and thank you and Concern for giving their child this.  I had a woman who said to me, “thank you, she hasn’t smiled in a long time.”  Ahhh………I teared up many times during the day.

Concern is a fabulous org to be part of, and I plan to get more involved with it.  If you’re interested in learning how you can help, please contact Megan at Concern.  She can be reached at (310) 360-6100 or megan@concernfoundation.org.

Giving is a much more powerful feeling than receiving.  For me, it reminds me of what I’ve got and what I’m grateful for.  It’s a good way to bring you back down to reality.  We forget how lucky we are, and although we face a hurdle here and there, or go through a hardship(s) in life, there are people who are much worse off/have less than us.  So, be grateful for what you have.  And, if you don’t know what that is, take some time and think about it.  You’ll get a new perspective.

Two days after the surgery

I mean, really? Who would ever have thunk it?  A routine procedure to remove a mole turned into a diagnosis of melanoma.   It was a small normal-looking mole on the side of my neck, one which did not fall under the warning sign.  Even the dermatologist questioned why I wanted it off.   Purely for cosmetic reasons.  And as mom said, “for once in your life, vanity paid off.”  It saved my life.

I was asked to return to the office the following week.  Yikes, that’s never good.   AND, it wasn’t.  It turned out I had skin cancer.   My first reaction?  Disbelief.  How could this be?  Sure, I am a fair skinned, blue-eyed blond with Irish heritage, but I wore sunscreen and hats to cover my face and neck for most of my adult life.   Then ignorance kicked in.  I did not know the different types of skin cancer, or that one was fatal.   (Melanoma has an average life expectancy of 6 months to a year if it gets into the system.)  I then dealt with regret.  I should have pursued acting earlier.  What if I don’t get the chance now?  Last emotion, of course, was fear.  Fear of the worst.  Death.  I don’t do well with health issues to begin with, and then take into consideration a mild case of hypochondria (you can thank my nana Martell for this too)…what an emotional roller coaster.  Though my odds were good this time (probability of a five-year survival is 93%), I didn’t believe it…. paid no attention to them.  I consider myself a tough girl but this rocked me.

The next day I had surgery.  I made the mistake of going alone — BAD IDEA.  Not good for several reasons but anyway….. It was agony waiting for the results – a week seemed like eternity.   Anyway, they came back….. cancer free!   What a relief.  The absence of anxiety was short lived – I had to now deal with the scar.  So heinous – I couldn’t look at or touch it for several days.   Almost six inches in length, it looked like I got my throat slit.  (If you can handle it, here’s a photo.)  You can imagine what ran through my mind about how it would affect me in Hollywood.  There’s no way to hide it at auditions.  The surgeon promised it would be unnoticeable…..look like a natural line in six months.  I was NOT optimistic at all.

And now…

So, what’s the take-away?  Life can be taken away so easily.  The event forced me to remind myself of what’s important, why I need to embark on this improbable journey.  It validated my decision to move to LA.  And now I’m here, and it is pushing me to the limits of my determination.

Friends, I would be remiss if I didn’t give a warning about the importance of getting your skin checked regularly.  If you haven’t gone to the dermatologist in a while, GO!!

(Merriam Webster)
odds Noun (plural)   /ädz/
1a archaic : inequalities b obsolete : degree of unlikeness
2a : an amount by which one thing exceeds or falls short of another

Life is a set of odds that lead you down your path….a series of events with given probability, right?  When mom was pregnant, I could either have been a boy or a girl – 50/50.  Would I be blond and blue eye’d – 70/30? (Turns out yes, and yes.)  So fast forward from birth and that probable outcome, and here I am.  30-something.  I just ditched my high-paying career, left my life’s belongings in a 10×12 storage unit, bought a one-way ticket to Hollywood to chase a dream – I’m going to be an actress!!!

My odds? Not so good.  Competition is brutal, and that’s an understatement.  I’m competing with hotter, younger, more experienced, and connected people.  I’m at the very (did I say, very?) bottom of this enormous mountain to climb, looking straight up at a 90-degree angle.  I know no one here – I feel so alone.  No friends.  No family.  Can I do this without their support nearby? You don’t need to tell me, the odds are bad….no, daunting is more like it.  Change is hard enough but tack on the odds of my success and I’m completely overwhelmed.  Yes, I know (and many have been sure to tell me just in case I wasn’t sure), “it’s impossible!”  YES, I KNOW!  I wasn’t born yesterday (as previously pointed out I’m 30-something).  Ok, we’ve stated the odds.  Got it.  Thanks.  I’m a realist and understand what they are.  But you know what?  I won’t look back and say “what if I had moved to LA? Who would I have met? Where would my life have taken me?”  No matter what happens, this is an adventure…a journey.  So I’m fighting to stay positive and optimistic, in the face of what feels like insurmountable odds.

The same questions run through my head.   I’m here, now what?  Can I beat the odds?  I’ve been successful before, can I do it again?  I can’t answer these now.  I try to remember the people who were given a slim-to-no chance and beat the odds like Lance Armstrong, Oprah, Michael Oher, cancer survivors, quadriplegics who were told they wouldn’t get out of the chairs……and did!  What’s the commonality?  They all had tremendous passion to succeed despite the odds.  I have this!  They can do it, why can’t I?

So, I am hopeful about this improbable journey (at least for now).  I will stay focused and do everything it takes to achieve it.  But, I am pushing forward with the belief that it’s about pursuing the goal in the first place.  There are times I think I’m crazy and question my decision….AGAIN life is a journey.   I need to remember…..the final destination is important, but not as much as enjoying the ride.   I hope Damn the Odds drives you to reach for the brass ring.   I believe reaching for it IS worth it.  For me, who knows what the future will bring, but I hope you stick around to see!

— Kristin

Kristin is an aspiring actress who recently relocated to Hollywood.  She is the creator and editor of Damn The Odds.  Her resume can be seen here and her headshots can be seen here.