A famous actor (there is debate about who actually said it), lying on his deathbed, was asked by a friend, “Is it hard, this dying?””No,” replied the actor. “Dying is easy. Comedy is hard.”

Well, folks, I can attest to that.  I just wrapped up a six week sitcom workshop with Emmy Award-winning actor Brad Garrett at the Larry Moss Studios/Edgemar Center for the Arts.  In the class, we explored what it takes to have great comedic instincts from one of the great comedic actors of my time.  What a remarkable experience.   I learned a great deal, including the fact that that I have a lot more to learn about comedic acting.

Acting classes are expensive in LA so when we actors find one that’s worth the money, it’s fantastic.  I highly recommend this class.  Brad’s fabulous.  He not only has the gift of funny but he’s an amazing coach.  I found him to be on point with his redirects, inspirational, surprisingly humble, and refreshingly candid about the biz.  He shared his experiences in dealing with the politics of Hollywood and his ongoing displeasure with auditioning.   I really took what he said to heart.

On the first class, Brad emphasized, “It’s all about the craft!  It has to be or you will get destroyed by the rejection and pressures of Hollywood.  Your craft can never be taken away from you.”   Boy, that is the truth.  This is a tough business on so many levels.   I am not as thick skinned and resilient as I thought – but I’m happy to report I’m getting stronger.

Brad also talked the about the “Four F’s” – Freedom, Finds, Funny, and Fearless.   The last one really hit home because this is something that I’m struggling with regularly. Speaking truthfully to you, I have an unwanted companion on this journey of mine…. an internal demon that I can’t shake.  I allude to it in my 8/11 post titled “Self-doubt is a bitch.” Call it fear of failure (or is it fear of success?), I really don’t know.  I can argue it both ways.  It doesn’t really matter what it is at this point.  Bottom line – it’s a roadblock, and I need to deal with and say goodbye to it ASAP.  This is another topic for another day though.  Blogging is a process of self-development, so I’ll be writing again about this soon.    So, pertaining to Brad’s 4^th F, I am on a quest to become fearless.  I am not quite sure how to do this yet.  Open to suggestions though.

The final class was an industry showcase, where we performed in front of a panel of experts — Jim Vallely, a TV producer and screenwriter (for some of my all-time favorite shows such as Arrested Development and Golden Girls), sought-after casting
director Susan Vash, The King of Queens Director Rob Schiller, plus an actor, an acting
coach, and a literary agent.   My partner and friend, LA-based actress Rachael Simone, and I performed a scene from the hit series Friends.  The performances were taped.   Unfortunately, the camera was positioned behind me so I’m not sure if the video will turn out.   If decent, I will upload to Damn the Odds. Stay tuned…

• Tame the mind – I’m staying positive.  Success or failure is in the mind.  We usually focus on reasons why we will fail instead of looking at why we’ll succeed.  The time and energy has a greater return on investment if we stay positive.  I’m reading Julia Cameron’s The Artist’s Way.  It is a 12-week course on discovering your creative self.   It’s taught me to use daily affirmations (positive statements of positive beliefs) to combat doubtful thoughts.  So far, so good.  I will NOT let self-doubt sabotage me!   Not sure how I’ll feel once I start auditioning.
• Stay focused and determined – Self-doubt is definitely testing how strong my will is.  The cancer was a brief setback, but I didn’t give up.   I have new struggles though…like trying to stay productive and motivated.   I just created a work-back plan with short and long-term objectives, deadlines, daily to-do lists, contacts sheets, etc.   This seems to be helping keep me on track.  The list lover in me gets great satisfaction by scratching to-dos off…it gives me a feeling of accomplishment.
• Celebrate successes – I’ve started to acknowledge accomplishments.   In the first few weeks, I focused on things that were not done and didn’t recognize what I had already accomplished…like moving to California.  I mean…most people don’t get that far.   It was a friend who helped me realize this.  She said, “most people never make the leap.  You did it.”    She is right!  I did.  Moving forward, I will continue to cement positive emotions in my mind.
• Amass supporters and say goodbye to critics – I’m tilting the playing field to my advantage by finding people who believe in and support me.  Corporate America taught me that it IS all about who you know.  I’ve been fortunate to work alongside brilliant people in the technology community.  And now, I’m seeking out people who have succeeded in this business.    I know there’s a lot to learn.   I’m also disassociating myself with people who pull me down with doubt and negative energy.   I’m not going to let anyone dampen my spirit.

I’m sure self-doubt will continue to plague me at times but I’m taking steps not to let it become an obstacle.   I’m not sure anyone can say goodbye to it (it is, in fact, a human emotion) but when it happens, I hope to find strength from it to push me ahead.