I’ve changed since my move out here. I’ve grown in many ways and am a hell of a lot stronger. I think and live differently.  Let me give a few examples.

Once a clothes whore – shoes and handbags were my weaknesses – I didn’t care how much money I spent on them. Today, I love second-hand stores (Crossroads on Santa Monica Blvd is great!).

When it came to dining out, I ate at the finest restaurants, sipping down my $15 goose and sodas without a worry. And today? While I do eat at fabulous restaurant on occasion, I mostly cook at home. That’s right!  I can cook (and am a bloody good one too).  My friends back home can’t believe this. My cooking skills were non-existent at best. I was never in the kitchen and ate take out for most meals, spending a ridiculous part of my annual salary on dining out/entertainment. That was then…..

What else is different? I’m inspired all the time. I am affected by things that I didn’t even notice before.

Inspiration is everywhere around you – just open your eyes. For some, that may be opening your minds and hearts. I don’t mean this to be derogatory in any way. I was once a person who was totally consumed by work. Always had my head down and never enjoyed the beauty around me. Today, I appreciate (and actively look for) the universe’s little gifts. I get joy and inspiration from nature, quiet moments, human kindness, other artists…..

One of the things I love about LA is its people. This town is full of inspiration and inspiring people.  I enjoy hearing peoples’ stories, and on the tough days, this keeps me going.  Let me share with you…..

With my writer girlfriend, Heather, in tow, I attended James Hallett’s “Exploration into Imagery and Dream Work for Actors and Artists” workshop.  James has an interesting background. With an MFA in Acting from Yale, he went onto become a professional actor in NYC. He then apprenticed for seven years and became a practitioner of DreamWork and Imagery Techniques. What is that, you ask?

James Hallett

James’ course blends Acting and Dream Work as a path to opening and empowering the actor’s creative genius. It uses the imagination to break through to a new level of presence, clarity, and power in auditions and performance.Fortunately for Heather and me, the class was small so we got one-one-one attention from James. He asked us to go back to our childhood and talk with our inner child.  Much of what he said validated what I read in the Artist’s Way. After some tears and discussion, I realized some things that were holding me back, most of which were driven by fear and childhood memories. My girlfriend walked away with a similar experience.  There is something to his work – I found it to be very beneficial.

Jack Plotnick also motivates me. Let me start by saying that I am the worst kind of worrier (thank you nana Martell). I am always in my head thinking about the what-ifs and different scenario of how situations could play out.  Getting out of my head is a challenge. It started to affect my auditioning and got me down in the dumps. Thank you  Jack Plotnic, this is not longer a debilitating problem.  He gives you another approach.  I’m working daily with affirmations – which is very new to me.  But, it works!!!!!  I have an entirely new mentality on my acting and with other things in my life.  Trust me, you want to “New Thoughts for Actors.”  Many of the principles can be applied to other things beyond acting.

Jack Plotnick

If you’re dealing with psychological roadblocks, I highly recommend these guys. So, how did James and Jack help me specifically?I took off 8+ months to focus solely on my PR business, so when I re-engaged as an artist, it was overwhelming. Thanks to them, I’m re-energized and have a more positive outlook. I’m excited for the future and plan to enjoy the ride more.  I AM ready to take my craft to the next level and will be patient with and forgiving of myself during the process.   I’m working on becoming fearless!

ACCLIMATION.  It took a couple months to settle in and acclimate to the area.  LA is quite large, and VERY dispersed.  The highways and traffic are a nightmare.   I learned the different neighborhoods, and am happy to report that today GPS is rarely used.    Not to mention…. I know three ways to get over the canyon to the valley.   Making friends and finding a permanent home fall into this bucket too.

GETTING IN SHAPE was next.  I gained (hmmm…) a tad of weight post-surgery and while traveling last year.  Daily wine + rich foods/eating out – exercise = 20+LBs for Kristin.   Not
good.   I had one pair of jeans that fit – and they were the stretchy kind.    One
needs to be confident in order to make it in this business.   This is something that was never a problem for me but I will say my confidence was lost with the extra weight.    If I
had any chance in this town, I needed to get it back.   So, I cut back on food and alcohol and started working out with an amazing trainer.   I need to give a shout-out to Jim Barcena.  He’s worked on numerous celebrities, and was kind enough to give me a deal so I could afford him.   Ladies/gents, if you’re in LA, he’s fabulous.   I lost all the weight and
attribute it to him.  Thank you, Jim.

EDUCATION.   I started acting classes.  Up until this month, I was attending classes regularly at two well-respected schools – Margie Haber and Lass Moss studios.   I recently
wrote about my experience with Everybody Loves Raymond’s Brad Garrett.   Pepper in some one-off improv classes and workshops, and my daily reading (including books, trade rags and plays), I’m learning the craft.   I plan to start classes again once the holidays are over.
To be an actor is a lifetime pursuit.  I will take classes as long as I can afford it.

Attending productions is important too.  Part of Julia Cameron’s The Artist’s Way is taking yourself on weekly artist’s date.  One of my fav experiences was attending John Lithgow’s one-man show “Stories by Heart.”  I drove downtown to the Mark Taper Forum to see Lithgow’s autobiographical solo performance.   He began by greeting the audience, seating himself in an armchair with the only prop being a family-owned book of tales, and then stated the evening is going to be about storytelling.  He acted out his favorite short stories from his childhood while sharing memories of his dad reading to the family. I have always admired Lithgow as an actor but to see him act out multiple characters was impressive.

EXPERIENCE/THE WORK.
My first project in LA was taping integration pieces (or b-roll) for an Emmy-winning medical show.   I never actually saw the episode air so I have no idea how it came out.   Nevertheless, I appreciated the opportunity.  Thank you to my actor friend, Svetlana, for the invite.    I started auditions with my old DC head shots.   Auditions are tough!  This is an
animal in itself that needs constant attention and practice.  I’m getting much better though.

For the first year, I’ve focused on student and short films.  I figure this is the perfect place to learn and make mistakes.   I’ve been involved in some great projects, one of which is called “Maple Syrup.”  I’m dedicating Thursday’s post to it so stay tuned.  As the other projects are
finalized, I will plug them on Damn the Odds.

One of my favorite pieces of advice or words of wisdom that I have received is “do shit!”
Along the same lines is what my former acting teacher in DC, Brenna McDonough,
used to say at the beginning and end of every class…”Do something for your career every day.” These are simple but so very true.   An actor needs to put in the work if he/she wants to make it.  As Actor and Instructor Adam Hill says, “Work produces work!”

Admittedly, I haven’t put in the time/work this deserves and what is needed to make it.  Over the last month, I’ve been deep in self-reflection about what I have and haven’t accomplished.
First of all, friends, plleeeease don’t do this.  DO NOT focus on what you haven’t accomplished.  This is not good.  Trust me.  Look at the things you have done.  When I did this, I realized that I have done some great things in my first year – things that have helped me build a good foundation for what I’m trying to achieve here.   Also, I had some unexpected challenges happen that took my time and energy away from acting.  Thankfully now,  these are close to being in order.

I am looking toward the future now.  2012 will be different.  It’s all about putting in the work.   I am motivated more than ever to do this.   My new head shots are done
(thanks to Lorenzo Hodges) and come the new year, I will start auditioning again.

I’m making a commitment to work harder…..to put in the work….to do shit!!!!  You can hold me to it.   Please do!

• Tame the mind – I’m staying positive.  Success or failure is in the mind.  We usually focus on reasons why we will fail instead of looking at why we’ll succeed.  The time and energy has a greater return on investment if we stay positive.  I’m reading Julia Cameron’s The Artist’s Way.  It is a 12-week course on discovering your creative self.   It’s taught me to use daily affirmations (positive statements of positive beliefs) to combat doubtful thoughts.  So far, so good.  I will NOT let self-doubt sabotage me!   Not sure how I’ll feel once I start auditioning.
• Stay focused and determined – Self-doubt is definitely testing how strong my will is.  The cancer was a brief setback, but I didn’t give up.   I have new struggles though…like trying to stay productive and motivated.   I just created a work-back plan with short and long-term objectives, deadlines, daily to-do lists, contacts sheets, etc.   This seems to be helping keep me on track.  The list lover in me gets great satisfaction by scratching to-dos off…it gives me a feeling of accomplishment.
• Celebrate successes – I’ve started to acknowledge accomplishments.   In the first few weeks, I focused on things that were not done and didn’t recognize what I had already accomplished…like moving to California.  I mean…most people don’t get that far.   It was a friend who helped me realize this.  She said, “most people never make the leap.  You did it.”    She is right!  I did.  Moving forward, I will continue to cement positive emotions in my mind.
• Amass supporters and say goodbye to critics – I’m tilting the playing field to my advantage by finding people who believe in and support me.  Corporate America taught me that it IS all about who you know.  I’ve been fortunate to work alongside brilliant people in the technology community.  And now, I’m seeking out people who have succeeded in this business.    I know there’s a lot to learn.   I’m also disassociating myself with people who pull me down with doubt and negative energy.   I’m not going to let anyone dampen my spirit.

I’m sure self-doubt will continue to plague me at times but I’m taking steps not to let it become an obstacle.   I’m not sure anyone can say goodbye to it (it is, in fact, a human emotion) but when it happens, I hope to find strength from it to push me ahead.